i love the blog

the budget fashionista

because it makes life fun and frugal at the same time. check out her post on being on a financial diet and rewarding yourself for it

http://www.thebudgetfashionista.com/archive/the-financial-diet-personal-finance/

list-o-rama

I am in love with romanticized versions of hard times -- (any books on The Great Depression or books like "A Moveable Feast") -- maybe because no one talks about an empty pantry so the books and movies that do make deprivation feel that much less lonely.
And especially because having kids means that you cannot walk around talking about feeling broke so you are pressed to conjure up a different version of the difficulties of adult life to carry the kids, unstressed, into adulthood.
One of the most dreaded tasks, next to tallying up bills you cannot pay, is making a grocery list you have no funds to execute.
My suggestions in this event:

make a "greedy guts" list -- anything you want (gourmet groceries, organic cleaning supplies, more houseplants) everytime you think of something you cannot afford today but want, write it down. Keep it separate from your trip to the store list. The idea is that whenever there is even the smallest amount of money left over after the necessities are taken care of (or even occasionally if your morale needs it, even if they are not entirely taken care of) pick something little off the list and treat yourself specifically. Mindful spending lasts longer. (and nothing feels worse than when you don't even enjoy something you can't really afford)

make a pantry inventory. mix and match ingredients to form new recipes with fabulously distracting names. set the table nice and watch your hungry family celebrate the every day (if they happen to turn up their noses, wait til more hungry, supplement with ketchup and offer again -- tomato infused bedtime snack anyone?)

most of all -- keep your sense of humour and your wits about you. and remember --

the crisis of the day will change, but the big picture will not

getting through the hard parts with your relationships intact

lack of money is hard on all relationships. watch "friends with money" if you don't think so.

http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/319486/Friends-With-Money/trailers

it is even harder on marriages.don't get stuck in the yelling at each other game, it hurts the kids even more than lack of money does
money stuff could be sorted within a matter of months and you don't want to be repairing your marriage then.
take deep breaths.
i know it sucks, but you are a tough cookie
don't wait for a change of heart just fake it!
have a good attitude
it will make you feel better
hugs -- it won't last forever, i promise.

distract yourself in the meantime

plan potluck dinners with friends (the kids play in the basement kind saving yourself the expense of a babysitter)
or kid parties with your kids' friends for after school fun
have sex -- it's free and good for your marriage
host a giant swap where people get points for what they bring and go home with something new to them (like having a garage sale and going shopping but without $)
have a movie night at home -- be creative and make it memorable -- set up a concession (as easy as treats laid out on the piano bench with a concession sign above) for the family
go sledding in the snow
keep an eye out for cheap shopping at local thrift stores (bag sales where you fit all you can in a bag for 5 bucks is a popular one) while you wait out the arrival of garage sale season

cultivate gratitude -- your place is too small because you have too much stuff. get rid of some of it. rearrange what you want to keep, look through albums at all the great experiences and know you will have more soon, fuelled by your creative mind.
if you have a digital camera, take pictures of everyday blessings and post them online to share with family and friends and to remind yourself life is indeed good.
if you are camera-less, pick up a disposable at the dollar store to record snow days or collage a bulletin board with quotes and sketches and pictures of what life means to you and where you want it to go. keeping the big picture up is especially important in hard times

there are two types of expenses that make up everybody's spending.
the fixed and the variable
the fixed are the rent or mortgage, the car payment, and the usual bills -- the non-negotiables
the variable are the groceries, gas, entertainment, clothing, etc.
(this is concept most widely promoted by the popular slice show "til debt do us part" )

watch episodes of the show or apply to be on the show and earn up to $5000 to help pay down your debt by following the show's links below
http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Title_ID=93097

the thought is that the variable are the ones we can play with to free up extra money
the truth is, the fixed can be trimmed too (in case you feel like the variable can't be cut anymore) -- take a look at which bills can be trimmed back on or look at your housing costs and see if there is a cheaper alternative

i will post lots of ideas for how to cut back on your variable spending, but in the end a lot of it has to do with state of mind -- for if you truly want to implement frugal living, the internet is awash with suggestions, yours for the googling

if you are looking for a new year's resolution, may I suggest making it one that will add to your life? you know the usual ones people are making this time of year -- a lot of them are inspired by feeling critical with how your life is going to date.
instead, commit to making 2009 the sort of year where the everyday is celebrated.
drop the pomp and up the fun.
especially when we're working hard at making it all work and especially in times of scant resources, creativity is called for.
you can make a beautiful life even if your credit score sucks or your savings are not accumulating. i still mourn the demise of

Budget Living Magazine

for it's ultra cool living fab on not much suggestions

but you can find lots of thrift store decorating tips online

the gallery at apartment therapy is a good one http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

feeling desperate sometimes leads to mini splurge spending

Some times we know we should be more careful with our money, but when things are looking desperate, the little things seem less important. We are more likely to treat ourselves for living in such difficulty. We know on some level it's counterproductive, but we do it anyway. Especially if we are short and using credit or dipping into previously untouched savings to bail out, it's hard to be as tight as we should be. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but hard times might be here for quite a bit longer yet. Don't let them take you under. Restraint now will make your safety net last longer than it would otherwise. In the meantime, keep looking out for ways to make more, tuck more aside, and cut from places you haven't yet. If you need inspiration, sign out "The Tightwad Gazette" from your local library.

ideas for saving $ this week

using recycling money to get new books
Walking instead of driving
Finding stuff laying around the house you can bring in for consignment
Working on the house -- elbow grease (not expensive repairs -- leave the plumbing alone ;)
Maximize pantry supplies by inventorying and meal planning
Plan dinner party menu with current stock to save going out for dinner to see your friends
Planning a garden for next year or planting some herb containers for the deck
Scrapbooking or journalling memories using supplies you have on hand
doing an informal Freecycle with friends (get it started with an e-mail note)